Survival Strategies 101 - Know your enemy!! #1 FEAR

It took me a long time to realise that it was scarier to live in a relationship than live alone (albeit with my kids). Not only is it a hurdle to be independent but it is horrible to put up with the embarrassment of what others say; most importantly I was terrified regarding which of my many friends would I loose?!? By giving up on a marriage of sadness would I also give up friendships made over decades? I bravely decided that my true friends would support me warts and all, and those that took sides and chose my ex I couldn't really have been able to count on anyway. At this time of my life I knew I was about to launch onto a scarier ride than anything that Dreamworld could dream up, and it has been made easier by some amazingly, wonderful people. I thank all of you!!

So once I had taken that plunge into single-hood, I realised that the "take away" from it was that I simply had to maintain this bravery. It is very easy to fall back into the life of fear-based philosophy but this was NOT going to happen to me, after all FEAR stands for false expectations appearing real anyway so most of it is in your head. When someone would suggest something and I thought it was out of my comfort zone I would swallow hard and say "I'll have a go"; and this is exactly how I ended up in a mixed Triathlon group, doing the swim leg (not my strongest asset ) in the "Stradbroke Is Point Lookout  Triathlon". ... Hello... anyone... twilight and Point Lookout scream one thing - Sharks!!! White pointer, Grey nurse, Tiger, all hungry and ready for a feed at their scheduled dinner time.

Chinny, Greeny and me - 3rd in our category

Any of my many homestay students, my Global Warmers, will totally concur with my trepidation. On the many times I have taken my mixed family members from Brazil, Japan, France etc we have all seen what lurks under the water at Straddie.
I had thought long and hard regarding this plight and reasoned that the slowest in the group would be the designated fast-food option for our watery friends only to be knocked on the head by some smart **** who mentioned that once dining started on that first victim it would be "a feeding frenzy"... Needless to say I did my PB for that event and our team came 3rd overall for mixed.

Now I'm not suggesting that anyone follow my footsteps into extreme gustatory sports for marine life, but my point is I was not going to be scared into a corner of my life,I was not going to feel sorry for myself, I was not going to live a mundane existence, I was going to move forward. I had to be brave for my children, my career that was frowned upon by a lot of people, but mostly for the embers in my soul. If you let them die it is a hard thing to re-light..

My children are strong in mind, body and spirit, something that I believe that they got from our times of stress, struggle and strife. I love them dearly for putting up with my antics, as I believe they do me.